When it’s possible to find meaning, despite everything

At Horiens, we have decided to make a special invitation to the mothers who are part of our team: what if we took a few minutes to bring out words and feelings about the positive memories that will stay alive in the memory of your family and in your experience as a mother, despite the current – and immense – challenge that the whole world is facing?

If it is a moment of difficulties and struggle for the preservation of life, on the other hand, the new Coronavirus and its consequences have given rise to very positive feelings and learning. When doing a thousand things, don’t a thousand other possibilities arise?

Below, we share a little of the essence and vision of some of our co-workers, in this scenario so different from other situations we are used to.

So that, with feeling and words, all the learning and atmosphere of this stage of history remain registered.
On this Mother’s Day, check out a special tribute to them and all the families!

This period of isolation is undoubtedly a great challenge for all of us, after all we are accumulating many functions and roles. It has been an intense experience! We live in an apartment and as we have a house near Guarapiranga dam, we decided to spend a few weeks of quarantine in it, thinking mainly about having more space for my son, Bernardo, who is 4 years old. I have accumulated the functions of housewife, cook, mother and treasurer in home office. While I was at the computer, Bernardo was watching cartoons, running around the garden, taking care of the chicks we bought, riding an electric cart, bicycle, swimming in the pool, playing and ordering food. Last week we returned to our home in Sao Paulo. Here, the activities are more restricted and the feeling of deprivation increases, with protection net on the windows and balcony. I have a feeling this moment is much more difficult for our children, without really understanding why he can’t play outside or see his friends and family. So, I stay strong, to be his rock. I feel like I know myself better now, I breathe more, I pray more, and I look more at the positive side of things. We’ll still learn a lot from all this!
Bruna Pithon

Adapting the routine amidst uncertainty, social isolation, remote work and pandemic is being a major challenge for all of us. But, like everything in life, there is always a positive side. What becomes clear to me is the possibility of sharing unique moments in family. What a difference it makes in our lives. William, 1 year and 3 months, took his first steps alone! And we’ve all had the privilege of being there: Mom, Dad and Grandma. I can’t express our happiness. We were looking forward to it, but I think he already knew about this pandemic and decided to wait for everyone to be home, just to have that joy, I bet (laughs). Between a spreadsheet and a diaper change, a call and a bottle, we follow this way, participating in everything – work and family – in a very intense and different way. To have the opportunity to experience “small big” achievements like this, it’s definitely priceless.
Elaine Assao

During my life, I only had two certainties: that the only thing for which there is no solution, is death, and that I wanted to be a MOTHER. When I saw my positive pregnancy test, I was so happy that it seemed I had received my passport to paradise. I enjoyed the pregnancy too much; my son, João Pedro, has always been so wonderful that I did not even feel the boring symptoms of pregnancy. He is undoubtedly the best part of me, he has become the biggest reason for me to become a better person every day. I don’t wish to be the best mother in the world, but I always try to be the best mother I can be. No effort is too much to do anything for him, he is my calm, my joy, my companion. This quarantine has given me the opportunity to experience things that I would never have the chance to experience. Seeing him babbling his first words, “fighting” with Nina (our little dog), calling Daddy, ahhhh it’s priceless to be able to follow his development closely. He makes me revisit the most beautiful part of my childhood, makes me smell my grandma’s house when I bake cakes for the afternoon snack! Ah, João Pedro, how could I live so many years without knowing this love that overflows my breast. Quarantine, no matter how bad the reason, has given me what we are always looking for: TIME. Quality time with my son and my family. On this Mother’s Day, I want to say very strongly how much I love you, son.
Elizete da Silva

Social isolation has made me think about many things, both in the collective and individual scope. Generations that are on the front line in many ways have never experienced a major crisis. This allows us to look at various aspects of our lives from another angle. Dilemmas, anguish, longing, among other issues, are part of this new normality. Observing how we are reacting to all this says a little – or a lot – about ourselves. The beginning of this quarantine was a period of difficult adaptation within the family context: suddenly home office, homeschooling and all domestic tasks. All that mixed up! As a consequence, a lot of stress, expectance in doing the best on all sides of life. For me, all those feelings have been changing in a way. The key was not to be too hard on myself and evaluate each moment as unique and special. So, I am reflecting here: despite all the chaos in the world, isolation is a very rich opportunity for transformation. There are moments of stress, of course, but it’s also a wonderful opportunity to do things I like, to be close to my children for longer, to be able to dedicate myself a little to personal projects that connect me with life. I am sure this new normality will make us – women and mothers – stronger and more sure of our resilience.
Fernanda Antonelli

To see my daughters more and more united as sisters, to have the opportunity to stimulate my creativity by creating games, reading many books and also rescuing games I liked during my childhood. No doubt, for me, those are the positive memories of this quarantine.
Helena Troper

During this quarantine I had the opportunity to work alongside my son. Our house has become a coworking: we have divide the dining room as a workspace and it’s been working very well. What has really been wonderful is seeing his behavior at work closely. That boy has a future! I have realized that my son has grown up!
Katia Luz

The best definition of this scenario for me is truly “REFLECTION”. I needed to reinvent a harmonious relationship with my daughter, who does not live with me, when last week, I had the brilliant idea of offering my personal project for her to follow up. I am sure that it will make her fly, and high. She’s got it, it’s working and I’m sure it’ll be a great learning experience for both of us.
Moema Figueiredo

What this quarantine and the great moment of uncertainty has brought me is positive: to give a new meaning to the value that the words ‘time’ and ‘love’ represent in my daily life. As a mother, I could learn even more from my daughter, Bella, 3 years old. It was not easy and it is not, in fact, but we improved our routine a lot. We often don’t realize how it is simple to stop for five minutes to hear what she has to say. We create agreements that mostly help us, although there are more difficult situations, with crying and boredom. But we keep learning and understanding each other. Yesterday she surprised me, and I got emotional. We were playing in bed and watching cartoons on TV, when she says to me, “Mommy, I’m VERY happy, you know?” It was just like, with emphasis. Well, I asked why such happiness: “Because we are together every day – me, you, Dad and Zen – all day and not just in the evening. The virus is out there, and we can’t get out”. We hugged, in a deep moment of connection and I heard: “I love you mommy”. I’ll never forget it.
Nayara Andrade

Both the experience of social isolation and that of home office are being enriching. The positive side, undoubtedly, is the union of families and the possibility of a more intimate and collaborative interaction. Today’s experience takes us out of the comfort zone, as there is a great mix – housework, family care, remote work, measures to avoid contamination, all at the same time! We are going far beyond what we thought was possible. This learning will continue with each one of us!
Sandra Santos

The quarantine scenario brought me the perception that the plates need to stay balanced, despite all the rush. But it’s a kind of rush very different from the one we’re used to: it’s indoors! At the same time the world seems so heavy with the day-to-day news, I have been thinking that the world inside our home should be light and respectful. After all, we are all in the same boat and each of us has our own issues and anxieties at such a delicate moment. As Matthew (6:34) said, “Each day has enough trouble of its own”
Renata Nascimento

Writing about foster motherhood while you’re in its trenches is like writing about divorce when you’re going through it: emotions run wild and it’s hard to conduct the subject with grace and objectivity. Being a stepmother is giant, believe me. It’s loving someone who doesn’t have “your eyes” or your smile. And if you separate from his father, you’ll stop being a stepmother and maybe not see him anymore. And what do you do with longing? In my whole life, I’ve heard the repeated jargon of the “mother is the one who takes care” type, but in practice, things are not so simple. There is the mother, YES! She exists, she has given birth, in her there is love. There is the stepmother, YES! She got the child ready at some point in life. She has made the commitment, she has challenged herself, she has dedicated herself, she has loved him without knowing it, since the beginning. And the best: there is the son, YES! With emotions, temperament, difficult age, thoughts, doubts, rebellions, loves, fears, desires, innocence, plans, and many solutions… I fell in love with the sly little laugh he has since he was a kid when we became part of the same family. I fell in love with his intelligence and cleverness, watching him advance through adolescence with strong opinions and many questions. I was moved by the fear of English, the tennis tournament, the fear of the first kiss and the first car drive, among so many other discoveries. His acceptance was carefully constructed. For both of us. At one point, with so many daily tasks, this relationship became somewhat stagnant, forsaken or even released. But then the pandemic came and, along with it, the social isolation, the massive coexistence of a family that was born ready. My mother taught me that the kitchen is the best place in the house. It was in the kitchen, making an iced coconut cake, with filling and topping, that our relationship shone again. A cuddle I gave him, to calm the heart that was broken by the breakup of a relationship after years, a candy to hold and warm the body trembling of sorrow. No words needed to be said. Our eyes alone have been enough to say “Son, I love you” on one side and, on the other, to say, “Thanks for loving me like this.”
Mara Mulinari